Goodbye 2016

Closure 2016

Yes. Finally. Nakuha ko na yung closure na gusto ko for almost ilang years. Actually parang di nga closure. Kasi hanging question lang yun.

Thank you P.

Kahit di na tayo nag-uusap. Binigyan mo ko ng magandang Christmas Gift  =)

So siguro tinatanong niyo ano yung hanging question? Hahaha. Tinanong ko lang naman kung minahal din ba niya ako before. At nasagot naman. Gusto niyo din ba malaman sagot? Hahaha. HINDI. Hindi niya ako minahal. Kaya maganda yung closure na to =) sobrang masaya ako na nasagot yun. Atleast db? Wala na akong question sa mind ko. Hahaha. Well, mejo na-hurt ako. Kasi ako yung nag-assume. Kasi pinaasa ko sarili ko. Pero okay lang. ako naman. So yun. What can I say?

It frustrates me that this is the only way I can convey my thoughts to you- not knowing if you will ever see this, but I had to give it one last shot. 

Thank you. Thank you for everything. I will carry it with me always. Thank you also, for all the late night talks we had. There was always something about the way you listened that made me feel like the only person in the world. It wasn’t always bad between us. you have inspired me to write more, to love more, to be more patient and to forgive. I forgive you for making me feel like I wasn’t good enough for you. I forgive you for breaking my heart into a million pieces. You have been the greatest love "the one that got away", thus far; also my greatest disappointment. But even in all of the pain and the hurt, there was growth. I learned to have boundaries, I learned my self-worth was more than you’d allowed. I learned to love out loud. I learned not to wait to share my thoughts and feelings. Nilasing ko sarili ko ng malaman kong meron ka ng iba. Alcohol makes one say and do irrational things – especially when the heart is broken.  I wish I had been given the chance to show my love.

My heart aches for you. I am tortured with thoughts of you, and though I am sometimes convinced that these feelings have faded, each and every time I fall in love with you again. This is a horrible thing to live with, the love I have for you. I know that it will never in this lifetime be returned. Sometimes I can live with that, but other times I cannot. I truly feel that no matter who you end up with, and I am certain that it will not be me, that this person will NEVER hold the love for you that I do.

So, I guess this is my last goodbye. I’ll be moving on. I will never forget the way you made my heart feel for the short time. I have to do what’s best for me now. I have to focus on making the best out of what life has given me.  I have to let you go.  Wow – that was the hardest line to type.  Goodbye, beautiful.  Don’t forget about me.  If God decided to take me from this world, please know in your heart that you were loved with everything in my being.  I wish you all the happiness life can offer.

Thank you 2016.

Super thank you. Atleast I can start na with my life sa 2017 ng wala na masyadong iniisip. Thank you talaga! Haayy.

Goodbye 2016.